Joe the Pro: Internet poker mockumentary

“If you don’t exercise, you’re just not going to be able to Internet poker for 13 hours straight.”

That’s just one snippet of wisdom from Joe the Pro, a YouTube mockumentary created by Joe Vu, a 27-year old Internet poker player who lives with his parents in Toronto. The series has become an instant cult classic among Internet poker players, with the nearing 10,000 views.

The series profiles the life of a professional Internet poker player who lives with his parents, and the semi-autobiographical result is almost painfully hilarious.

“When you play pro cash game poker, you have to disrespect money,” Joe the Pro says in the . “You have to treat money as a unit and not it’s true value. If you lose a big hand, and you start thinking ‘Man, I could have bought like a two-liter bottle of Coke with that money,’ then you’re going to start playing with scared money, and you’re going to make mistakes. If you lose, you lose. It’s more important you made the right play. Like take me for example. Last night there was a big bet on the last card. I had the odds to call, so I called, but I lost. I didn’t think for one second, ‘I just lost like two McValue meals.’ No I just didn’t eat lunch or dinner that day, borrowed my parents’ credit card, redeposited and continued playing my A-game. That’s what a pro does. “

Vu started the series in part to pay homage to another Internet mockumentary, “purepwnage,” which chronicles the lifestyle of a professional real time strategy (RTS) gamer.

“When I was in university I was addicted to Starcraft,” Vu said. “I had always been attracted to unconventional professions, so I practiced quite a lot and I was playing with actual professional gamers. I soon found out that only the smallest fraction of top gamers made a decent living and also that I was failing most of my university courses.”

Vu gave up on being a professional gamer, but while teaching English in Japan for a year, he took up Internet poker as a way to supplement his income. Since returning to Toronto in late January, Vu has yet to get a “real job” and is planning on spending a year playing poker while looking for other opportunities.

Based on his “Joe the Pro” series, Vu should consider applying for a position on NBC’s hit mockumentary “The Office.” Vu combines exceptional timing with dead pan delivery, making his one-man scripts surprisingly lively.

“If a fish draws out on you, it’s your duty as a pro to teach that fish a lesson,” says Joe the Pro in the second episode. “When I see a fish being lectured and screamed at by another player, how they shouldn’t have made a call based on implied or pot odds or position, I’m like ‘You tell that fish.’ It’s like they’re wasting 15 cents. They shouldn’t be making those calls anymore. The training wheels are off man.”

Vu had no experience in film “except that I enjoy watching them” prior to starting the “Joe the Pro” series. But he’s become a quick study, picking up tips from Internet sites and actively thinking about scene composition while watching movies.

Vu doesn’t currently profit from his series, but he points out that “No PRO poker player wouldn’t try to think of a way to make money from this.” Right now, all he gets is the satisfaction that he’s producing something that thousands of poker players are enjoying.

“If it wasn’t for the support I’ve received from my friends, YouTube comments, and forums like Full Contact Poker, I wouldn’t make any more episodes,” said Vu.

But because of that support, Vu has just posted his in the series. The latest episode details how being a poker player can help get girls.

“Sometimes my Internet girlfriends ask me, ‘Don’t you feel bad taking money away from people?’” Joe the Pro says. “And I think that’s such a dumb question. Did they every ask Spud Webb if he ever felt bad dunking on people? Or do you ever hear Gary Kasparov say ‘Yeah, no problem, take back your move?’ Or like, how about a boxer, having to apologize every time he accidentally bit your ear?”

All four episodes of Joe the Pro can be seen on YouTube, or at his Web site, http://www.joethepro27.blogspot.com/.